Television melts your brain and hypnotises you, otherwise why would Fox News still be on air? Surely the deluded masses should rise up and run it out of town, then we could all watch actual news programmes with reasoned debate. Just a thought.
Unfortunately he isn't the kind of guy that can help you pull chicks at the bar. Nope, he's the kind of guy that can't afford the full price of a plane ticket and has to travel outside of the aircraft.
We all know women can't drive, but apparently they're not that great at flying either. I'm guessing that she was either a blonde, or that the remaining people in the balloon decided that she continue the journey on foot?
Sometimes people want to watch the whole world burn, and provide the matches. Maybe he wasn't eligible for the new cell phone they have just released? To be honest i'm sure we've all thought about doing the same.