Beer is the nectar of the gods, but it comes at a price. Beer goggles make incredibly sane people commit epic acts of self destruction. Man the harppoons... no! wait.. nuke em, thats the only way to make sure.
I'm not entirely against cosmetic surgery, but letting a teenager turn herself into a vampire is not high on my list of 'improvements' - I can't wait till she becomes a mother and her kids freak out coz they think they are gonna turn out the same as her!
Nothing will give you toilet stage fright like the gruesome visage of a horror movie legend. If you're not a horror movie fan it probably just looks like a burns victim with a funny glove. Still scary though.
If only everyone was as wise as young Tommy here. Instead of experiencing the world for ourselves and deciding with our senses what's happening, let's just check Google Street View and if all's well on there, then it must be fine. Douche.