Who watches the watchmen...Police officers, huh? How about them, while they provide us with security and protection they can also make terrible mistakes. Some of them aren't happy until they've viciously beaten an innocent victim with a spiked truncheon to within an inch of their lives, stamped on their face with boots that have razor blades on their soles, then thrown powdered glass into their eyes and raped their entire family.

These are the sort of people who must watch the Rodney King tape as some kind of training video, studying it with the vigour of a seasoned scholar, exacting every last bit of information from it in the hope of gaining some new insight into lacerating a person's skull, or blinding them or leaving them with permanent brain damage, so they're a dribbling, fleshy goon, fit only for rocking back and forth like a demented pendulum, whose only use is as some sort of human time keeper.

Of course, there is a plus side to this whole thing, which is a big up to the little girl involved in this incident. Taking on three male cops, that's some good skills. She may grow up to be a professional wrestler, plus she can dine out on this story for years. 'Yeah, I may have cuts and bruises to my face and neck, but I kneed that pig scum so hard in the groin his manhood now sits in the back of his throat and he'll be tasting the sticky, salty richness of his own rancid balls for the rest of his life...'

Do you rate Kanye West as a supreme being, is he, for you, the high water mark of civilisation, the reason we were put upon this Earth, our hip-hop saviour? I think at times he likes to consider himself as much - music's answer to life-giving water, a man who considers himself so important he's an as yet unknown Law of Physics.

Or, perhaps, when scientists finally switch back on the LHC at CERN they will discover that the Higgs boson - the particle that will explain how massless elementary particles cause matter to have mass, known as the god particle due to its importance - well they'll discover that it's actually Kanye West, he is the thing that gives matter mass. His little face will be looking back at them, with winged angels buzzing about worshipping at the divine altar of his trendily venetian-blind-bespectacled head, with God the almighty on his righteous knees sucking Kanye's weiner like the holy trinity depended on it.

That's how important he thinks he is.