If they don't include a scorpion jacket for Mario as DLC for the next Mario Kart game I will be extremely disappointed. I'd also like a cutscene where he stomps out a Goomba in an elevator as well. Make it so, Miyamoto!
Dogs might look cute when they're bounding around on dry land, fetching sticks and bringing you your slippers, but put them in water and they look ferocious! They're still cute, but in a slightly scary way...
You'll need one hell of a toilet brush to clean up after this guy. Here's a tip for you; never let a gargantuan green rage monster use your bathroom. Whatever he does in there is going to be seriously messy.
The easiest way to speak Italian! Simply hold your hand in this position and wave it about a bit and Presto! You'll be speaking fluent nonsense and offending an entire continent's worth or people. Congrats, you racist.
I can't decide whether to cry or laugh until my head hurts. Poor little Billy has led a terrible life up until this point. Time to pwn his ass in Counterstrike and teabag his ragdoll. That'll cheer him up, right?
Some things just feel good. There is no suitable scientific explanation, they just give a sense of immense satisfaction while plastering a ridiculous look on your face. That weird little zap you got from old CRT televisions was one of these things.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. As it turns out, guys are just as guilty of posing in a cheese-on-toast way for their facebook profile pictures as the ladies are. Here's a breakdown of the usual suspects.
Lots of countries have their own martial arts but none of them embody their national character quite as perfectly as the French martial art. All it's missing is eating cheese and being rude to foreigners.
Pizza is a magical foodstuff that almost gets better the more it ages. Heating it up to eat can be a pain, but not anymore with this top of the line gadget from the future. Allow me to introduce the patented Pizza Heater 2000!
Is someone using all of your stickytape? Just get one of these and nobody will ever want to touch your tape again. In fact, people might even stop talking to you altogether. Could be worse though. Could be Jar Jar.
This guy has gone the whole hog and done everything he possibly can to ensure that he will be completely unemployable until the day he dies. Even tattoo parlours wouldn't want to hire this guy. Nice work, dufus.
So you've just bought yourself a sweet ride. What's your next step? Bucket seats? Furry dice on the mirror? NO! Paint a giant My Little Pony on the door of course. Chick totally dig guys who like My Little Pony.
Cheer up girl because you have some of the biggest jugs in the land, but all you can do is pull that sour duck face like an idiot. Some people are never satisfied regardless of whatever luck fate has dealt them.